The Self-Care Paradox

Many of us, driven by the belief in the value of education, invest substantial time and energy into our studies (Henderson-King & Smith, 2006). Yet, in this relentless pursuit of excellence, we may inadvertently neglect ourselves and the aspects of life beyond academics. Let’s think of the challenge of balancing academics and personal life, like managing a stovetop in your kitchen—family, friends, work, relationships, and more. You have limited energy to spread across these burners, and we must choose how to allocate our precious time and attention. 

We often push our limits to achieve the best, investing substantial energy and time into our studies. We use trial and error to determine if we need as many breaks, sleep, and time for ourselves as we think. We keep pushing ourselves until push comes to shove, and our brains can’t take it anymore. This process can lead to disappointment, insecurity, hurt, and guilt. Despite achieving good grades, we may realise after months of this pursuit that we must pay more attention to our well-being and lives beyond academics. We strive to be the best in academics, only to confront the reality that this pinnacle doesn’t exist. Instead, the pursuit is about being your best, a definition unique to each individual.

I cannot speak for all universities, but our university (UvA) sets the narrative for an unyielding focus on academic achievements. Don’t get me wrong–many of us are motivated to prioritise our GPA as it is a requirement for potential opportunities and a signal to the world that we are dedicated to our studies. The general belief here is that pursuing studies depends upon an internal locus of control, implying that students believe they have control over their academic success through their efforts and actions. However, hard work is only recognised if it translates into excellent grades. But how many other factors beyond your control can affect your grading? 

The grading system, particularly in the Dutch educational landscape, introduces a unique challenge. International students take time adjusting to the Dutch grading system (Rienties et al., 2014), unlike their Dutch counterparts, who are familiar with it and have realistic expectations. To set the stage, a mark of 9 is rarely awarded, and the highest mark of 10 is seldom given as it implies perfection, which is rarely present in student work or the lecturer’s work. Therefore, an average grade of 8 is considered “excellent”. International students are raised with grading systems that are entirely achievable, which is why they often come to Dutch universities with the same mindset and are left disappointed.

The pressure in Dutch educational institutions stems from their funding structure. Institutions receive a fixed amount from the government, with additional funds tied to factors like the number of students enrolling and completing programs within the expected duration and the number of students successfully receiving degrees (European Union, 2023). This funding focus emphasises the timely completion of studies and the accumulation of credits (Pruvot et al., 2015, 30). Notably, the reinvestment of these funds between research and learning within the university remains undisclosed.

In the academic environment of Dutch universities, there is no margin for error or hiccups as teaching weeks quickly lead to assessments, and the cycle repeats itself. The continuous and demanding nature of academic pursuits can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion. Moreover, suppose you aspire to follow the honours programme at the university. In that case, it comes with strict criteria, leaving no room for mistakes or retakes, only intensifying exam anxiety.

Here a conflict emerges between personal values and academic achievements, forcing us to make difficult choices. On the one hand, we deem our education valuable and want to prove that. On the other hand, the pursuit of academic success within a system that deems perfection unattainable is comparable to descending into a bottomless pit of challenges and relentless striving. You give everything until you have nothing left to give. The struggle between academic success and personal well-being means we must sacrifice one for the other, leaving us torn between two crucial aspects of our lives. 

The self-care paradox underscores the dilemma of dedicating substantial time and energy to external goals while potentially neglecting one’s mental, emotional, and physical health. The paradox lies in finding a harmonious equilibrium between external success and self-care, recognising that genuine success is incomplete without a foundation of personal well-being.

To attain work-life balance, we must explore strategies emphasising the importance of setting boundaries. Time management takes centre stage, crafting a workday that includes not only study sessions but also allows for moments of rest and relaxation. The crucial concept of disconnecting or switching off becomes necessary for mental rejuvenation. Regular rest days are essential to replenish our energy reserves. It’s a cyclical process – we must fill our cup before pouring into other aspects of life. The distinction between doing the best and doing your best reminds us that while perfection doesn’t exist, we must be proud of our personal best. Embracing a holistic perspective of success entails considering oneself, acknowledging limits, and prioritising our health and needs. It’s about recognising that the journey is as significant as the destination, and that progress isn’t always a linear trajectory.

The core of initiating this discussion is confronting the university’s intense study culture, which often discourages prioritising a healthy work-life balance. Though student services exist, they need to approach the problem more realistically. The pressure to succeed, especially at UvA, creates a competitive environment that can be detrimental to students’ well-being. While students are responsible for addressing this issue, the university also needs to take accountability for the negative impact of such pressure. Students require an environment that fosters their well-being and respects their boundaries. It is a two-way street that requires open conversation and increased transparency between students and the university. Within a university that seeks to extract excellent GPAs and numerous credits from us, there’s a limit to what we can achieve while maintaining balance. Student services should take a proactive approach to assist students and ensure no one seeps through the cracks. It would foster a stronger sense of community and support.

The self-care paradox is a challenge and an invitation to reflect on your values and beliefs. Balancing personal growth and academic success is possible. Nevertheless, it also involves a sacrifice from either, and finding your equilibrium is what matters above anyone else’s expectations. Close your eyes and envision switching lives with someone you deeply care for, and within a year, you’ll give their life back. You know this person and what they want. So, you’d align their life to achieve their goals and also care for them. Take this same approach for yourself, consider your values, reflect on your priorities, and take proactive steps towards achieving a healthier balance in your life. The journey to equilibrium is a personal one, but it is a journey worth undertaking. <<