A few months ago, I came home late in the evening from a busy day – I had gone to work early in the morning, followed my courses, studied with friends, joined the Spiegeloog meeting and went to the movies. Opening the door, I exclaimed – tipsy, tired, and content – that I would love to keep this flow going as I had thoroughly enjoyed the day. My roommates – both sitting in the living room – gave me a quizzical look and explained that I could not keep going like this for days on end: ‘Eventually, you will get a migraine, run out of energy, and require rest’. While this was true for the next day (damn you hangover), I did look forward to being busy again the following week.
When I talk to others about my schedule, they usually find it quite packed and ask how I’m handling the pace. I always tell them that I’m really enjoying what I’m doing but that, of course, it can get stressful at times. When that happens, I try to hit pause and prioritise myself. While I’m not always successful in managing my stress, I’ve improved a lot over the years. Not meeting my personal and academic goals in the first year of my bachelor’s felt like the end of the world and my friends were rightfully concerned about my wellbeing. I was trying to excel in everything and lost focus of the fact that life shouldn’t be one big chore, a to-do list I need to work through. While coming to this realisation required a full blown pandemic, I’ve never worked past the point of exhaustion for a course or job again.
Thus, over the years, my focus has shifted, and while I still like to do a lot, the motive behind my actions has changed. I just want to explore my interests, meet people, and have fun figuring out what’s out there. However, some of my friends who have accompanied my stress journey have not updated their perception of me. For them, I am still doing too much and the only way to liberate myself from the (occasional) stress is to drop courses and extracurricular activities. But the liberation they envision for me would not kick in as I genuinely enjoy my schedule. When I tell them about that, the conversation usually ends in one of two ways: either they understand that we differ in the amount of social energy we have OR they wonder if I’m chronically busy and not aware – a typical workaholic.
While the latter response rarely happens, the handful of times it does, I try not to take it personally. I know how far I’ve come; I only take courses that interest me, regardless of their ‘academic value’, I join extracurricular clubs that inspire me, not a potential employer, and I reduce my workload when I feel overwhelmed. Yet, despite these healthy selection and coping measures, for some people being that busy feels like a punishment – it’s something they detest and could never see for themselves. While I understand where they are coming from, there are also people who thrive in those conditions. At the end of the day, we all differ in our preferences on how much we can and want to shoulder. And that’s fine! Even though it feels like my friends doubt my capabilities when they call me out on my busy schedule, I appreciate that they have the guts to do so. But you guys don’t have to worry, I’m finally doing these things to build a life, not a resume!
A few months ago, I came home late in the evening from a busy day – I had gone to work early in the morning, followed my courses, studied with friends, joined the Spiegeloog meeting and went to the movies. Opening the door, I exclaimed – tipsy, tired, and content – that I would love to keep this flow going as I had thoroughly enjoyed the day. My roommates – both sitting in the living room – gave me a quizzical look and explained that I could not keep going like this for days on end: ‘Eventually, you will get a migraine, run out of energy, and require rest’. While this was true for the next day (damn you hangover), I did look forward to being busy again the following week.
When I talk to others about my schedule, they usually find it quite packed and ask how I’m handling the pace. I always tell them that I’m really enjoying what I’m doing but that, of course, it can get stressful at times. When that happens, I try to hit pause and prioritise myself. While I’m not always successful in managing my stress, I’ve improved a lot over the years. Not meeting my personal and academic goals in the first year of my bachelor’s felt like the end of the world and my friends were rightfully concerned about my wellbeing. I was trying to excel in everything and lost focus of the fact that life shouldn’t be one big chore, a to-do list I need to work through. While coming to this realisation required a full blown pandemic, I’ve never worked past the point of exhaustion for a course or job again.
Thus, over the years, my focus has shifted, and while I still like to do a lot, the motive behind my actions has changed. I just want to explore my interests, meet people, and have fun figuring out what’s out there. However, some of my friends who have accompanied my stress journey have not updated their perception of me. For them, I am still doing too much and the only way to liberate myself from the (occasional) stress is to drop courses and extracurricular activities. But the liberation they envision for me would not kick in as I genuinely enjoy my schedule. When I tell them about that, the conversation usually ends in one of two ways: either they understand that we differ in the amount of social energy we have OR they wonder if I’m chronically busy and not aware – a typical workaholic.
While the latter response rarely happens, the handful of times it does, I try not to take it personally. I know how far I’ve come; I only take courses that interest me, regardless of their ‘academic value’, I join extracurricular clubs that inspire me, not a potential employer, and I reduce my workload when I feel overwhelmed. Yet, despite these healthy selection and coping measures, for some people being that busy feels like a punishment – it’s something they detest and could never see for themselves. While I understand where they are coming from, there are also people who thrive in those conditions. At the end of the day, we all differ in our preferences on how much we can and want to shoulder. And that’s fine! Even though it feels like my friends doubt my capabilities when they call me out on my busy schedule, I appreciate that they have the guts to do so. But you guys don’t have to worry, I’m finally doing these things to build a life, not a resume!
